Title: The Top Secret Diary of a Very Pregnant Woman
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/snowangel153/
Reviewed by: Yame




Title = 10/10
I’ll give you a perfect ten for making me imagined a petite Hebe Tien with very big stomach. It’s a stroke of genius, and totally brilliant. One of the best pun lines in Winglin.



Creativity of the story = 9/20
I’ll reward 3 to the idea of creating a pregnant Hebe… I have seen enough of pregnant Selinas, Ellas, Jolins and whatever… Hebe’s a first in my experience so far.
Another 3 for portraying such a lovely side of motherhood, and sharing all the loves, joys, and jokes with us. I really like the step-away from heartbreaks and tears, it’s time we share some love around us. And the last 3 for the section, is for the act of pure courage in your foresightedness in putting the most unlikely a pair of lovey-dovey. It’s new, it’s unusual and one hell of an idea, so why not? For it, you get the 9 in total.



Posters & background = 10 /10
Lots of Pink, (i.e. the color of love to girls I think), a smiling Hebe and a little Aaron… Picture Perfect for the fic, so that’s no reason for not giving points when I could and should be, right? So yes, there you have it, another perfect ten for the rest of the rocky road ahead… Yes, you have been warned, I’m no saints.



Casts used = 3/5
I have struggled hard with my heart for this. My first reaction was to give a miserable zero for it, and it’s the last section I touched upon in this grading, but the angel in me (Yes I still have one if you are wondering after reading the whole review) won for the time being.
Aaron Yan, I have no problem picturing his cute face as a cutie pie, but as personality wise, I heard he’s rather cold. So… errr, lets just imagine him to have the character of Calvin Chen in this role, okay? I need a reason to justify the passing grade or at least for the 2 points I’m giving Aaron due to my lack of understanding of Aaron. Now Hebe Tien… as far as I know for the past 6 years, has never been “a materialistic, wannabe-sexy Jewish woman who belongs to a specific subculture of wealth and style, with affected mannerisms and a nasal way of talking.” (Yes, I quoted it off the Urban Dictionary if you are wondering… It shows how much work I put in to research on the language used.) For that fatal mistake, I think it deserves two marks off at least.
So where’s the outstanding 1 point coming from? I would say it’s for the courage and gut in pulling this off. For that act, the author deserves a pat on the back.



Originality= 7/20
Credits still go to the motherhood subject and the daring idea of placing Hebe and Aaron in such a teeth rotting sugar act. It’s definitely one of a kind, and the author’s specialty when I read back to the past fics to check. One little advice though… It would be better to work it through the characters before jamming them into the roles. Unusual and unlikely, don’t mean originality as far as I’m concerned. However it could be passed off as an act of daringness and creativity though.



Storyline/plotting = 7 /20
I like the storyline, really!! It’s great to read something about love so lightly that it will bring a smile to you and remind you that love is really what we need in this world. Nothing like a sweet old love to chase away your cold.
But I have problem walking straight with the plotting lines all over the place, with traps jumping out of nowhere. It’s all in a day’s work trying not to fall flat on my face while walking down the path. But then again, I have always been falling down my whole life, so it could just be me… or that; this path does not like me at all, hence with all the jumping-jacks in the air whenever I try to make my way across it.



Spelling/Grammar = 1 /5
Alright, this is not going to sound good because I have a very big issue with the use of Slangs. To be honest, I was going to put zero, but I’ll sugarcoat it at the end of this section. Lets forget the typos such as gener (for gender as I believe to be), and those pause stop sentences which sounded really robotic, my main issue of the day is still slangs. Yes, I agree that slangs are good to use and they do make the story closer to heart when it’s written in a casual manner… But there is also something called, too casual and very mono tone. That’s what the over use of slangs does to stories, they destroyed it, especially if you are trying to be some kugels wanna be... Which I do see your Hebe is trying to be one… But it really hurts the content, coz Hebe from what I know is most definitely not Jewish… and it sounds too weird coming from her… That brings us to the casting part… but I’ll leave it for all to check the casting comments….
Typos… I believe it’s an honest mistake, but still, I would advise the writer to check over the chapter before posting. It’s the “respect the reader” thing, if you get my draft.
And my comments on the one mark? I like her wordings at times coz she managed to make them sound English, even with all that Jacks-in-the-air and kugel talks… So that deserves a thumb-up at least, we got tons of Singlish slangs in the deeps of Winglin and those are the nastiest ones.



Overall enjoyment = 4 /10
Great job! It's definitely one highly sugary wild journey reading this fic. I'm currently suffering from a toothache and the side-effects of one brilliant session of head banging exercise. Painfully good. It’s a great choice for a fun reading wild drive! Just bear in mind, we don’t do insurance, so no claims or whatsoever for you.



Total: 51 /100



Reviewer Thoughts:
Yes, I know this sounds mean and that I have regrets writing it. But I’m not going to change it because someone will hate me for it. It is good to be a baddie, coz you are honestly heading out to help even if it sounds bad. It’s the way life is, and I am not a fan of sugar… So I won’t pour honey over things like how others might. It’s the strength of your heart that matters, the more beating you get, the brave ones will get stronger, and the weak will always remain the weak.