Y O U A N D M E F O R E V E R reviews

Title: Abducting My Heart
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/My_Heart/


Reviewed by: xIaojO


Title: 10 / 10
I LOVE YOUR TITLE!!!! Abducting My Heart, looking at your title it gives me a little cliffhanger on it as I am pretty curious of who is actually the one that abduct the heart. I did thought is the girls that abduct the guy's heart or the opposite but all this guesses surely makes the readers wanna continue reading on so for just only this point you deserve a full marks for it.



Creativity of Story: 20 / 20
Abducting My Heart is indeed a creative title so as the story and I think you are first person to write Ron being a pervert, of course a player which I didn't sees in any of the other story about Ron also in his shows. He is always acting a good guy or else he will a rebellious youngster but in here I sees the other side of Ron and I loves his character so much. As for this point, I think you surely deserve a full marks for it.



Poster and Background: 10 / 10
I admit that your poster is nicely make with the characters shows up clearly and of course, from the poster I can sees that Michelle and Raymond are the major cast whereas, Leila and Ron are the minor cast but Raymond is kind of cool in the poster so that's reflects his first role to me as a coolly man and that goes to Michelle. Anyway, your background blends in real well with the font you use and I like the overall of this section.



Cast Used: 5 / 5
Simply love the characters that you are using in this story because all of them are my big time favorites but of course I will not be biased in this area, though I did give a full marks here but this marks you deserve it as they suits in the role of your story for example of Raymond's role in here totally suits his character of being demanding and controlling because he gave people a feelings of a man chauvinist as normally in his show, he was act like one so perhaps he is the only choice to this role. Now, Michelle too suits this role of hers of not being only a weak woman but someone that can control her tempers until the brim, that's why she chose to leave Raymond in the prologue cause of his too demanding character but being a gentle lady is what Michelle supposed to have.



Originality: 20 / 20
As for the originality section, I bet this story did not copy from any other fan fiction or sources. Every role from this story is so original as I have never came across in others fan fiction but if there's really one means I need not came across to read it and no matter what I believe this story origins from the author imaginations and ideas so another full marks I gave here.



Story/Plotting: 18 / 20
Story and Plotting is ultimately marvelous, You actually let Raymond and Michelle met again after the whole 3 years, also giving them a familiar feelings which cause they heart to pound hardly whenever they met each other. There's a few scene I loves the most after reading this story and also remember most clearly,



The first scene I love best was when Michelle bought Chi Chi to the vet and Chi Chi just ran off from Michelle's leach than stopping in front of Raymond, that also cause them to bicker. The bickering of them is rather cute when Raymond starts saying, “Get 'it' away from me” and Michelle replying “Excuse me, but is a dog not a it.”, with the replying of Raymond asking Michelle whether does she needs to get back to preschool and this is the part that's funny cause I can't really imagine Michelle's reaction.



Second scene that leaves a great memory in my mind was Chapter 3: Interview Embarrassment, I agree this part was one of the sadly part of Leila and I hate Shirley Yeung not in this story but every time I sees her, she will be giving a face or maybe a action of a slut with makes me hates her to the core and now in this story, how can she did this Leila of tying the knot loose to make the dress drops down but this way it makes Ron looks more man as he protects the person he likes so I think readers you should read this part cause I bet you will like it.





Overall for this section, I gave a marks of 18/20 though is two marks below full marks but there's a reason why I gave you 18 marks instead of full because you leave you cliffhanger there for so long and causing your readers to be jumping around on the chair so perhaps you should update this soon but not often and it can helps to cure the itchiness of your readers.



Grammer/Spelling: 3 / 5
Somehow, some parts in this story you got a few spelling and grammer errors here and there but it still isn't lose the main plot or maybe understand of this story so I gave 3/5 for this section because I think maybe at the end of every chapters you should be leave down a message apologizing on your grammer mistakes. You might not want to put it and is okay, this is only a suggestion from me as a reviewer.



Overall Enjoyment: 10 / 10
Obviously, I enjoy reading this fan fiction that's why I am giving a full marks in this section. Every chapter that you update has easily link every part of the story together and truly you know where are your story going so this is confirm a story worth to read.



Total: 96 / 100



Y O U A N D M E F O R E V E R : Hope you will like this review done by me! If there's anything you think I did not review it quite well, feel free to tell me in the tag box and meanwhile I apologize.