Pumas Love

Pumas Love

Written by: Miki, Vin & Joa

URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/joaa3/

Status of FF: Chapter 1-19 (incomplete, yet)

Reviewed by: Cryselle

Title – 10/10

It is an extraordinary title. I’ve never seen any title like this before. Itsomehow also reveals about the storyline itself. It’s definitely going toinvolve love in this story.

Poster/background – 6/10

The title tells me that this story will be a sentimental love story butlooks like I’m wrong. It’s just that your poster and background didn’t suitthe theme at all. The poster and background give a feeling that the storywill be a dark romance but it doesn’t match the quotes at all. Your posterand background don’t suit the theme of the story at all.

Foreword - 8/10

The short descriptions for all the main casts of the story are quite welldone. But there is a little mention about the story. It’ll be better if youcan write a short summary of the story without revealing too much.

Flow/writing quality – 12/15

The pace of the story is slow and it’s just like there are too many thingshappening in just one day which you have divide it into two chapters becausethere are too many characters to focus on.

Storyline/plot – 12/15

The plot is quite a typical one – the love part. Even though I’m never intovolleyball but the descriptions are great and I can clearly picture thescenes.

Grammar/spelling – 14/15

Your grammar and spelling are alright. But I did spot some mistakes. It’snot a lot, don’t worry and it’s hardly noticeable.

Casts used – 4/5

Some pairings are alright such as Hebe & Arron, Jiro & Selina, Ella & Chun,Edison with Gillian (even though I prefer Charlene & Edison but I’m okaywith Edison and Gillian too), Joe & Ariel and Mike & Rainie. I find it weirdpairing up Leehom and A-mei. I know there is news saying that they weretogether but I don’t think they look compatible at all. A-mei looks old forLeehom, no offence by yea. Leehom has got ‘baby face’ so even though he is30 years old of age already, he still doesn’t look like one. And because ofthat, I think he is compatible with anyone younger than him but not older.

Overall enjoyment – 6/10

Sorry to say that the only exciting part for me is on the volleyballcompetition. It’s because you’re focusing on many people in this story thatsometimes, you left out some of the couples, which in another words meantheir parts, are not equal. You have more focus on some couples but not onall couples. I know it’s hard to write on so many casts but I think it’simportant for them to have their own personality so that they’ll bedifferent from each other. But I’ve read so far, no, they don’t seem to haveany different from each other.

Total marks – 72/100