…And Then She Gets Run Over by a Bus (Comedy)

Title: …And Then She Gets Run Over by a Bus (Comedy)
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/cliches/
Reviewed by: SHE_Farenheit

Title: 8/10

Commentary: I find your title creative because I have not read the forewords yet, just simply the title and I’m curious indeed to find out who was run over by bus and why, therefore I award you 8/10 for this section.

Poster/Background: 6/10

Commentary: I have to admit that I dun really like the poster, because the words are not really clear. But, I can offer some suggestions like, request from a poster from serenity.co.nr or viva-teamo.co.nr to improve the reader’s interest and attract their attention. The white background, I have no comment.

Forewords: 7/10

Commentary: The forewords was great, however, there is too much characters inside and the way you wrote the tagline is really complicated and confuses the reader which is a bad start for the story. Your creativeness can be seen from the interview of the characters, but personally, I think that you do not really need the interview.

Flow & Writing Quality: 13/15

Commentary: Quite nice the flow of writing, just that I find it a little messy as this fanfiction is co-written, anyway, both efforts at writing was nice. The best part about the writing quality was that both of you urged the reader to read on J

Storyline/Plot: 10/15

Commentary: You have a pretty complicated plot, perhaps try to stick to having 2 or 3 main characters as the rest as minor characters because it is pretty confusing for the reader. It connects with the main characters, but why after chapter 3 I think, there is no more mention of Charlene, the happy-go-lucky girl? The plot makes sense, but it’s too much characters and hard for the reader to keep track yeah. It was plotted quite okay.

Creativity/Originality: 10/10

For this part, definitely you’ll score. You got the originality as well as creativity, good going girls!
Spelling & Grammar: 13/15

Well, I just read the story, you guys made a bit of grammatical mistakes, but it’s still alright.

Overall Enjoyment: 13/15

The story was very interesting, and it’s a real good read. I advise you to stick to less than 6 characters, or else you will have to make sure that everybody is there and probably this story is going to take up a lot of time. Start your dialogue at the start of a new paragraph.
Total: 80/100