Spring Love
Spring Love
Written by: ryeogoon
URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/mqv4/
Status of FF: Chapter 1 – 28 (Completed)
Reviewed by: Cryselle
Title – 8/10
The title is simple and common. I’ve come across quite a number of stories using the four seasons as their story title.
Poster/background – 9/10
It’s a bit plain using white as the poster background and background. But then it suits the theme and genre of the story. Even though it does look plain, it somehow symbolizes pure too.
Foreword – 8/10
It is a short foreword. But the poem is meaningful and it tells everything about the story. The lacking part is that you didn’t say anything about the casts, even a brief descriptions on them.
Flow/writing quality – 13/15
Your writing is good. You’ve expressed yourself very well and you put the readers in the heels of the characters, thinking what they’re thinking and putting them in the characters’ situation. This creates a picture for the readers as if we’re watching series. The flow is really smooth but the pace is a bit slow. And it’s slow throughout the story.
Storyline/plot – 12/15
You’ve a nice plot. Nice introduction and nice ending. Even though the ending maybe a typical one that they got married and had a pair of twins, I like the way you ended it. It is as if you can picture the scene of a happy family. It just looked so sweet. But some parts are cliché such as they named one of their twins the name of Qiao En’s twin sister who passed away as a remembrance of her. I especially like the part when Ming Dao kept sending Qiao En mysterious roses. It’s so mysterious and the twist was so unexpected. Maybe it’s because you have lots of flashbacks that are what that slowed down the pace of the story.
Originality/creativity - 10/10
Like I’ve mentioned above, I really love your twist especially the number of different colours of roses representing the numbers ‘1326’. It’s so creative. And the number turned out to be Qiao En birthdate and age, which is connected to his twin sister who passed away, Yi Chen. I don’t see why to minus your marks here. =D
Grammar/spelling – 15/15
You have perfect grammar and spelling. But there is one thing I have to point out. "
Qiao En gasped at his appearance and became nervous all suddenly." This particular statement was extracted from your story. I think the correct one should be, "Qiao En gasped at his appearance and became nervous all of the sudden." OR "Qiao En gasped at his appearance and suddenly she became all nervous."
Casts used – 5/5
Even though I’m not a fan of Ming Dao and Qiao En but they do look compatible.
Overall enjoyment – 8/10
It’ll be more entertaining if the pace of the story is faster. Like I’ve said earlier flashbacks seemed to slow the story down, so maybe you can leave out some of the flashbacks and write them in a story-telling way, if you get what I mean. Overall, it’s nice. I enjoyed reading all the twists.
Total marks – 88/100 [Highly recommendable]
Written by: ryeogoon
URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/mqv4/
Status of FF: Chapter 1 – 28 (Completed)
Reviewed by: Cryselle
Title – 8/10
The title is simple and common. I’ve come across quite a number of stories using the four seasons as their story title.
Poster/background – 9/10
It’s a bit plain using white as the poster background and background. But then it suits the theme and genre of the story. Even though it does look plain, it somehow symbolizes pure too.
Foreword – 8/10
It is a short foreword. But the poem is meaningful and it tells everything about the story. The lacking part is that you didn’t say anything about the casts, even a brief descriptions on them.
Flow/writing quality – 13/15
Your writing is good. You’ve expressed yourself very well and you put the readers in the heels of the characters, thinking what they’re thinking and putting them in the characters’ situation. This creates a picture for the readers as if we’re watching series. The flow is really smooth but the pace is a bit slow. And it’s slow throughout the story.
Storyline/plot – 12/15
You’ve a nice plot. Nice introduction and nice ending. Even though the ending maybe a typical one that they got married and had a pair of twins, I like the way you ended it. It is as if you can picture the scene of a happy family. It just looked so sweet. But some parts are cliché such as they named one of their twins the name of Qiao En’s twin sister who passed away as a remembrance of her. I especially like the part when Ming Dao kept sending Qiao En mysterious roses. It’s so mysterious and the twist was so unexpected. Maybe it’s because you have lots of flashbacks that are what that slowed down the pace of the story.
Originality/creativity - 10/10
Like I’ve mentioned above, I really love your twist especially the number of different colours of roses representing the numbers ‘1326’. It’s so creative. And the number turned out to be Qiao En birthdate and age, which is connected to his twin sister who passed away, Yi Chen. I don’t see why to minus your marks here. =D
Grammar/spelling – 15/15
You have perfect grammar and spelling. But there is one thing I have to point out. "
Qiao En gasped at his appearance and became nervous all suddenly." This particular statement was extracted from your story. I think the correct one should be, "Qiao En gasped at his appearance and became nervous all of the sudden." OR "Qiao En gasped at his appearance and suddenly she became all nervous."
Casts used – 5/5
Even though I’m not a fan of Ming Dao and Qiao En but they do look compatible.
Overall enjoyment – 8/10
It’ll be more entertaining if the pace of the story is faster. Like I’ve said earlier flashbacks seemed to slow the story down, so maybe you can leave out some of the flashbacks and write them in a story-telling way, if you get what I mean. Overall, it’s nice. I enjoyed reading all the twists.
Total marks – 88/100 [Highly recommendable]
posted by Viva - teamo at
6:53 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home