The Confession Cafe
Title: ♥ The Confession Café ♥
Author: x`CANDYcoatedKISSES}*
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/confessioncafe/
Reviewer: Fvone =)
Title = 8 /10
I like the title, expressing clearly what the story is based on so that readers would have a better conception of what is it roughly about. Able to capture one’s attention if they want to look for light-hearted stories which gives you a bonus point. Besides, using the word ‘The’ actually brings out a specific kind of feeling, where one would feel that there’s only one Confession Café in the entire world, thus making it have a greater impact. Good job done over here. ^^
I like the title, expressing clearly what the story is based on so that readers would have a better conception of what is it roughly about. Able to capture one’s attention if they want to look for light-hearted stories which gives you a bonus point. Besides, using the word ‘The’ actually brings out a specific kind of feeling, where one would feel that there’s only one Confession Café in the entire world, thus making it have a greater impact. Good job done over here. ^^
Forewords = 5 /10
I can only give you a passing grade because the forewords are really too short. I guess the only good thing is that you had a brief introduction of what the confession café is about. Other than that, I don’t see what else the forewords are used for. To be frank, reading the forewords and first chapter is unable to capture my attention at all. I might not even read this fic and I’m only doing so because I’m reviewing it. What I’m trying to say is not that your story is bad. I enjoyed myself in the subsequent chapters so my main point is that you need to make it a point a have a good start in order to attract more attention
I can only give you a passing grade because the forewords are really too short. I guess the only good thing is that you had a brief introduction of what the confession café is about. Other than that, I don’t see what else the forewords are used for. To be frank, reading the forewords and first chapter is unable to capture my attention at all. I might not even read this fic and I’m only doing so because I’m reviewing it. What I’m trying to say is not that your story is bad. I enjoyed myself in the subsequent chapters so my main point is that you need to make it a point a have a good start in order to attract more attention
Creativity of the story = 7 /10
Till now, the story is more or less creative enough as you had everything based on the café itself which is kind of uncommon in Winglin but still, I read a couple of stories which had the setting based on the café so I had no choice but to deduct a few points here. Also, the typical rape scene which is already so common till I’m immune to it. You know, the damsel is distress thing, I suggest that you come out with something else which can have the same effect. However, the way Rainie calls Calvin ‘Superman’ ever since is very cute! Very creative on your part I would say.
Till now, the story is more or less creative enough as you had everything based on the café itself which is kind of uncommon in Winglin but still, I read a couple of stories which had the setting based on the café so I had no choice but to deduct a few points here. Also, the typical rape scene which is already so common till I’m immune to it. You know, the damsel is distress thing, I suggest that you come out with something else which can have the same effect. However, the way Rainie calls Calvin ‘Superman’ ever since is very cute! Very creative on your part I would say.
Posters & background = 10 /10
Marvelous poster you have for this fic, very pretty indeed. The cup of I-have-no-idea-what-it-is on the bottom right hand corner also brings out the point that it is somehow related to the café which is a major plus point. Background colour is also contrasting enough with the font colour so it’s not straining to the eyes when readers read the story. Full marks for this segment of course! =D
Marvelous poster you have for this fic, very pretty indeed. The cup of I-have-no-idea-what-it-is on the bottom right hand corner also brings out the point that it is somehow related to the café which is a major plus point. Background colour is also contrasting enough with the font colour so it’s not straining to the eyes when readers read the story. Full marks for this segment of course! =D
Casts used = 4 /5
Ahhhh, I like Fahrenheit and SHE a lot and of course, I’ll be more than interested to read this story when I know it’s about them. However, me liking it is one matter and frequency of them showing up in Winglin is another. I know that there are plenty of readers who are interested in FHR+SHE pairing but sometimes, I’ll get a little sick when I read those fics. No, I’m not saying that having another story on them is not good. Aiya, it’s good, yet not good. I have no idea of what am I saying here but maybe you can just try to have some changes in the pairings rather than those standard or rather, default pairings.
Ahhhh, I like Fahrenheit and SHE a lot and of course, I’ll be more than interested to read this story when I know it’s about them. However, me liking it is one matter and frequency of them showing up in Winglin is another. I know that there are plenty of readers who are interested in FHR+SHE pairing but sometimes, I’ll get a little sick when I read those fics. No, I’m not saying that having another story on them is not good. Aiya, it’s good, yet not good. I have no idea of what am I saying here but maybe you can just try to have some changes in the pairings rather than those standard or rather, default pairings.
Originality= 17 /20
3 points gone for this segment as for what I’ve stated previously, the raping scene followed by the guy saving the girl and the part where Hebe is the main singer together with Arron (I read another story which had the same plot too). However, I still have to praise you on some parts, which includes the point which Hebe always has the Mickey Mouse necklace with her and also the fact that her entire room is decorated with MM stuffs. Oh yea, I like the way you bring out the fact that Hebe is actually looking forward towards the date where she would be meeting up with Arron to watch stars. Simple yet sweet, I like. ^^
3 points gone for this segment as for what I’ve stated previously, the raping scene followed by the guy saving the girl and the part where Hebe is the main singer together with Arron (I read another story which had the same plot too). However, I still have to praise you on some parts, which includes the point which Hebe always has the Mickey Mouse necklace with her and also the fact that her entire room is decorated with MM stuffs. Oh yea, I like the way you bring out the fact that Hebe is actually looking forward towards the date where she would be meeting up with Arron to watch stars. Simple yet sweet, I like. ^^
Storyline/plotting = 18 /20
Your style of writing can be rather messy at times, especially in the first few chapters where you crammed everything into paragraphs. I prefer stories which are written in para form rather than script forms but I think it would be better when you separate details from actual dialogues, like what you are currently doing.
Your style of writing can be rather messy at times, especially in the first few chapters where you crammed everything into paragraphs. I prefer stories which are written in para form rather than script forms but I think it would be better when you separate details from actual dialogues, like what you are currently doing.
As for the storyline and plotting, not very obvious at this stage as you have yet to complete the story. However, your footnotes at the end of each chapters show that you are actually very unsure of this story. I do understand that authors would have those feelings once in a while but I think it would be better if you were to have more confidence in your story so that readers would also feel more at ease when they read them. Besides, putting those notes down would also expose the fact that you did not plan enough for this story.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary = 3 /5
Quite a number of spelling mistakes I’ve noticed. Although they can be rather trivial. For example, ‘ya’ should be ‘you’; ‘Im’ should be ‘I’m’; ‘accomadate’ should be ‘accommodate’ instead.
Quite a number of spelling mistakes I’ve noticed. Although they can be rather trivial. For example, ‘ya’ should be ‘you’; ‘Im’ should be ‘I’m’; ‘accomadate’ should be ‘accommodate’ instead.
Overall enjoyment = 9 /10
I enjoyed reading the story till now as it is very interesting with a couple of little jokes here and there which can be rather amusing. I realize that you can bring out the point where they enjoyed themselves very well but whenever it comes to touching/sad scenes, the feeling isn’t there. I suggest you work on details which can bring out the atmosphere as well as the inner feelings of the characters.
I enjoyed reading the story till now as it is very interesting with a couple of little jokes here and there which can be rather amusing. I realize that you can bring out the point where they enjoyed themselves very well but whenever it comes to touching/sad scenes, the feeling isn’t there. I suggest you work on details which can bring out the atmosphere as well as the inner feelings of the characters.
Total: 96 /100
I have one question to ask. Are the girls living in one apartment and the boys living in one? You need not state that point clearly in the story and it seems like the case that they are, so I’m just asking here.
I have one question to ask. Are the girls living in one apartment and the boys living in one? You need not state that point clearly in the story and it seems like the case that they are, so I’m just asking here.
posted by Viva - teamo at
10:57 PM
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