Love.Deviated
Title = 10 /10
I like the title a lot because it expresses at one shot what the story is going to be based about, making it rather clear for readers to know what to expect for this story. It also gives out a sense of melancholiness which is a great reflection of the dilemma Danson faces. A great choice I would say; at least it succeeded in making me click it and read this fic! =D
I like the title a lot because it expresses at one shot what the story is going to be based about, making it rather clear for readers to know what to expect for this story. It also gives out a sense of melancholiness which is a great reflection of the dilemma Danson faces. A great choice I would say; at least it succeeded in making me click it and read this fic! =D
Forewords = 9 /10
I think it’s too vague. At first, I have no idea to what you are trying to express but I went on with the story though. Furthermore, it is unlikely for readers to go back and read the forewords when they are halfway through the story. To be frank, I only understood the forewords when I reread the entire story when reviewing. It is only when readers had read through the rest of the story before they could understand the forewords. So for readers (like me) who read along as you update, it can be rather confusing. Other than that, I find the poem really beautiful and it somehow tallies with the feelings of Danson.
I think it’s too vague. At first, I have no idea to what you are trying to express but I went on with the story though. Furthermore, it is unlikely for readers to go back and read the forewords when they are halfway through the story. To be frank, I only understood the forewords when I reread the entire story when reviewing. It is only when readers had read through the rest of the story before they could understand the forewords. So for readers (like me) who read along as you update, it can be rather confusing. Other than that, I find the poem really beautiful and it somehow tallies with the feelings of Danson.
Posters & background = 9.5 /10
I think the shade for the poster can be darker to portray exactly how sad this fic is going to be. Moreover, Danson is the main and in the poster, Chun seems to be the one who is feeling more agony instead of Danson. Also, wouldn’t it better if all of them had their eyes closed? ‘A love, different from others’…’ I think it would be better if you go more into it like adding more quotes; perhaps some individual thoughts they have. Background colour is light enough so as to contrast with font colour; making it relatively easy for readers to go about with the story. Indeed a good job done by delirious.
I think the shade for the poster can be darker to portray exactly how sad this fic is going to be. Moreover, Danson is the main and in the poster, Chun seems to be the one who is feeling more agony instead of Danson. Also, wouldn’t it better if all of them had their eyes closed? ‘A love, different from others’…’ I think it would be better if you go more into it like adding more quotes; perhaps some individual thoughts they have. Background colour is light enough so as to contrast with font colour; making it relatively easy for readers to go about with the story. Indeed a good job done by delirious.
Casts used = 5 /5
Whoohoo, my favourite part. Chun and Danson, refreshing! Although there’s plenty of HS fics going on in Winglin these days but most of them are on Korean stars so this fic is actually the first one I’ve came about which is regarding this couple. There’s quite a number of Danson and Chun fans out there so I would say it’s rather smart of you to choose these two as I guess there will be plenty of readers who would be interested in this story. Full marks of course! ^^
Whoohoo, my favourite part. Chun and Danson, refreshing! Although there’s plenty of HS fics going on in Winglin these days but most of them are on Korean stars so this fic is actually the first one I’ve came about which is regarding this couple. There’s quite a number of Danson and Chun fans out there so I would say it’s rather smart of you to choose these two as I guess there will be plenty of readers who would be interested in this story. Full marks of course! ^^
Originality= 18 /20
I think that this story is still more or less original other than the part which it is a HS fic. You made everything short and simple, yet being able to portray the agony each character is facing when it comes to relationship. I did get a surprise when I knew that Danson is actually down with a terminal disease. Somehow, the way you phrased it is different from other fics despite sharing the same idea of one of the characters dying but this story has yet to end so he might not die after all. Once again, I want to emphasize that the way you brought out their inner feelings sounds so true, and I suppose most readers would really feel depressed just by reading, and it’s a good thing. =D
I think that this story is still more or less original other than the part which it is a HS fic. You made everything short and simple, yet being able to portray the agony each character is facing when it comes to relationship. I did get a surprise when I knew that Danson is actually down with a terminal disease. Somehow, the way you phrased it is different from other fics despite sharing the same idea of one of the characters dying but this story has yet to end so he might not die after all. Once again, I want to emphasize that the way you brought out their inner feelings sounds so true, and I suppose most readers would really feel depressed just by reading, and it’s a good thing. =D
Storyline/plotting = 20 /20
Returning to read the forewords after reading through the story shows that you had an idea of how are you going to go about with the story, showing that you had a specific plan in mind already; rather than thinking and going along at the same time. Storyline is very refreshing(at least to me it is), able to capture my attention with the way you bring out everything. I’m actually rather impressed with the way you managed to go into details yet not going into details. What I meant was that just a few words of yours is able to give readers the idea of the current atmosphere; may it be happy, sad or sweet. Great work done! =)
Returning to read the forewords after reading through the story shows that you had an idea of how are you going to go about with the story, showing that you had a specific plan in mind already; rather than thinking and going along at the same time. Storyline is very refreshing(at least to me it is), able to capture my attention with the way you bring out everything. I’m actually rather impressed with the way you managed to go into details yet not going into details. What I meant was that just a few words of yours is able to give readers the idea of the current atmosphere; may it be happy, sad or sweet. Great work done! =)
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary = 5 /5
Terrific job done! Suitable vocabulary used, thumbs up! =]
Terrific job done! Suitable vocabulary used, thumbs up! =]
Style of writing = 9 /10
Soft and slow flow, not having the feeling of rushing through at all. Pace is comfortable enough for readers to figure out what is happening. I think you can try to lengthen each chapter a little bit more because it’s really a good fic so of course readers would want to enjoy more whenever you update right? Short phrases here and there which can actually cause a great impact because it’s simple enough; with no artificial coverage just to make their love sounds extraordinary. Nice one. ^^
Soft and slow flow, not having the feeling of rushing through at all. Pace is comfortable enough for readers to figure out what is happening. I think you can try to lengthen each chapter a little bit more because it’s really a good fic so of course readers would want to enjoy more whenever you update right? Short phrases here and there which can actually cause a great impact because it’s simple enough; with no artificial coverage just to make their love sounds extraordinary. Nice one. ^^
Overall enjoyment = 10 /10
I LOVE this story. As you know, I’m not reading it because I’m reviewing but really because I like it from the point of view of a reader. Although HS stories puts some people off but your story definitely does not. In fact, I’m really so absorbed in it and it actually changed by perceptions towards HS in real life. Please continue to update soon because I want to read more! Wheeee~~~~ =DDDDD
I LOVE this story. As you know, I’m not reading it because I’m reviewing but really because I like it from the point of view of a reader. Although HS stories puts some people off but your story definitely does not. In fact, I’m really so absorbed in it and it actually changed by perceptions towards HS in real life. Please continue to update soon because I want to read more! Wheeee~~~~ =DDDDD
Total: 96.5 /100
Awww, let them be together in the end would ya? Or at least let Chun accompany Danson for the remaining days! Sobs, I feel so sad for Danson ya know. =(
Awww, let them be together in the end would ya? Or at least let Chun accompany Danson for the remaining days! Sobs, I feel so sad for Danson ya know. =(
posted by Viva - teamo at
12:39 AM
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